


There's no going back

by Boothefool



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: A kind of not really happy ending, A teeny tiny bit of fluff if you squint, Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Gaslighting, M/M, Manipulation, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Wonderland inspired, reference to alchemy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28327515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boothefool/pseuds/Boothefool
Summary: Jongho is the respected and (overly) devoted commander of the Wonderland army. Their mission? To help their leader lead them into the door of truth so they can save this destroyed world.But what happens when a group of rebels start to interfere?
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 9





	1. Devotion to their leader

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am back with a lot more serious story. I have no idea what i am doing, jesus take the wheel, i hope you like it.<3

_ Are  _ _ you _ __ _ going _ __ _ to _ _ stop  _ _ here _ _? _

_ Here is everything you’ve really looked for _

** \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

Choi Jongho

26

General of the Wonderland army

“Come on everybody! Keep the pace! One, two! One, two” His strong voice resonated through the training ground. Looking down on all the soldiers with matching outfits, doing their best.

_ Pathetic _

They wouldn’t survive a day in the battlefield, granted, they just started training but he could tell right away that none of them had the guts to kill anyone. At least not right now

_ That  _ made them useless to their leader and as such, to  Jongho as well. Their leader’s wishes were  Jongho’s wishes after all. He has never seen their leader’s face, but that doesn’t matter. His white mask, the only man pure and free from human sins, will lead all of them to the door of truth and then... Then they will become god

That is how they can save this world. Save all the people that are suffering, all the animals that have gone extinct. That’s how  Jongho can save his older brother, he was too weak before b-but it’s different now. He has trained for hours and hours to no end to be strong. To go from private to general in record time

He is strong

He is strong 

He is strong 

He  ** is ** strong 

. . .

He has to be strong 

. . .

_ “ _ _ Jongho _ _ get back!” _

_ “But San, you are going to be killed out there!” _

_ “ _ _ I'm _ _ not. I will come back as good as new, just you wait and see! ...take care of mom while I'm away okay? You’re a big boy now”  _

_ The little boy let go of his brother, tears in his eyes. He was too small, too weak to follow him out into the fire. _

_ They found his brother in a flower field, surrounded by the flags that should be black, representing the unwillingness to give up _

_ It was such a paradox; flowers were rare to begin with and his brother... was laying down in a field full of them. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. So many colors contrasted the bare wasteland around it _

_ It had to be a sick joke played on him by god. To show him such a sight on the worst day of his life. He could no longer see the beauty in these cursed flowers _

Jongho snapped out of his useless daydream. There was no beauty in this world anyways, not yet. The only thing left to do now is wait for their leader’s orders and train these useless wimps into honorable soldiers for the nation. Nothing else mattered to  Jongho and nothing will ever matter more to him

That was the only way to bless this world with beauty 

“ Atention ! Everyone, get in line! Salute!” Ah, colonel Seonghwa. He was very cold,  Jongho would say he is the coldest person in this place but he is more than capable of training people and leading them in the right direction. Just a few years older than  Jongho and a master in... less conventional tactics of fighting. Most people call him the sin of lust, Park Seonghwa may be handsome but he is just as deadly. However, he is not beautiful.

Jongho watched as Seonghwa walked around all the privates, a lit match in hand, getting closer and closer to their faces. Try to move away from the fire and you will get burned. This test always took hours and sometimes even lost then soldiers, but that’s okay. They can’t stay here if they can’t handle this

A few of them passed the test right away, more than usual.  _ Good.  _ Even more passed after getting burned once. However, they were some who even after the fourth, fifth time, couldn’t do it and they wouldn’t give up

Seonghwa and subsequently  Jongho , were getting very annoyed. If you weren’t going to pass the test then give up and stop wasting their time. Perseverance  won't make you survive  in the battlefield

“What’s your name?” Asked Seonghwa, blowing out the match and flicking it towards the only person who still hadn’t passed the test. The guy’s face was covered in little burn marks from the match, they kind of looked like cigarette marks actually. What a shame, he was quite handsome as well. Maybe just as handsome as Seonghwa but a totally different vibe. Still not Beautiful.

“I am Jeong  Yunho sir!” answered the failing student, standing up straighter in front of Seonghwa. What was he trying to do? Look taller than the colonel? This guy must have a death wish or at least be into some torture shit

Seonghwa scoffed at the tall recruit “What are you standing so tall for? You are the only one who still hasn’t passed the test. Who are you trying to impress being  here?" Poor thing looked like a kicked puppy but no matter how cute you were, if orders were sent, you killed. No time to be scared of a little fire

Yunho gulped, standing just a tiny bit smaller “I-I want to be like ghost sir!” 

Seonghwa looked back to  Jongho , they both thought the same thing:

_ The kid has guts saying that name in public _

“ Yunho , was it? You can’t stand the fire of one lit match but you can say his name? You must have a death wish. I’m letting you pass because you have guts but be careful with  _ him,  _ he knows everything that happens here” Seonghwa warned the tall guy but he seemed to ignore that second part. Ignorance is bliss after all

Yunho was just happy to pass the test, standing tall once again “Yes sir! Thank you, sir!” What a breath of fresh air was this guy... It will just be even sadder when he inevitably turns colder. He should quit, if  Jongho had the power he would kick the guy out.

After all, it’s his responsibility to take care of those who are innocent. Happy people should just wait for them, people like  Yunho shouldn't give up such a trait to be here. It will be a sad day when that tall guy realizes he has lost his smile. Let’s hope that day comes before he losses the shine in his eyes

“Whatever, you’re all dismissed. Go shower and then  _ straight _ to bed. You better be prepared for the consequences if I find you walking around the building” Seonghwa snapped his fingers and just like that the new guys walked away, talking to each other nervously. Seonghwa could only chuckle, remembering how he was when he first joined. Nervous, dreamy, flirty and with just enough determination to make it to the end.  Oh how he missed those days but there was no point in going back, he  was no longer that person

Jongho approached Seonghwa and they made their way to the canteen wordlessly. They didn’t need words nowadays. Anything you say can be used against you in this world, even if their leader protects them, the enemy can always be a step ahead

They sat down and ate their food. It wasn’t anything special, it never was and  Jongho would be lying if he said he said he didn’t miss it. Miss someone close to him cooking something yummy. Seonghwa did it a few times for him when they just got here but it was impossible to hide from their leader 

They never tried it again. 

It didn’t matter though; they weren’t here to have fun or make friends. They were here to save everyone and  Jongho hoped he could make it. Seonghwa had reminded him of beauty when they first met, that was no longer the case but maybe, just maybe he could bring it back.

They finished eating and went to the bathrooms, checking for anyone who was out when they should be in their rooms and brushing their teeth in the middle. They parted ways where they always did. To look around faster like always. To find no one like always-

_ Oh? _

There was someone in the hallway. It wasn’t someone from Seonghwa’s group.  Jongho would have remembered a blond mullet. The guy wasn’t even wearing their uniform. No white button up with a black tie under a dark suit, no band and most importantly, no cross to show loyalty to their leader. 

This mysterious figure wasn’t with them, so in  Jongho’s eyes, he was against them. He could not recognize that uniform though. No matter how many times he looked at it, none of their data bases said anything about a white shirt with red strings and a badge of some sort, or about so many accessories. How did he even have the money for such luxuries?

Jongho slowly got closer, making no noise whatsoever. The man still heard him approaching somehow, how? He didn’t know but as the blond turned around to face him the commander stopped dead in his tracks

_ This man was beautiful like nothing he had ever seen  _

His face was sculpted by the gods  Jongho was aiming to replace. The same gods that turned their back on them gave this world one last blessing in the shape of this man. There was just one tiny detail. His eyes.

They were empty. But not in the same way Seonghwa’s eyes had lost their bright, no... They looked like San’s. Completely devoid of life in the most disturbing way. An incredible contrast to everything else this man seemed to represent

_ Was god playing a prank on him again? Did he have a curse? Why did all the beauty he seemed to encounter have a slow dance with death?  _

The only way  Jongho could describe the mysterious beauty would be a fallen angel. An inhumanly perfect being that fell from grace for wanting something human. But what sin had he committed to get his eyes replaced and his wings torn? And why was Jongho so entranced by him?

The mysterious angel turned to the mere human, he looked surprised to have been caught, empty eyes widening. It would have been comical if  Jongho wasn’t hypnotized by his beauty. The field of flowers was nothing but a bunch of dirt beside the blond

Jongho could have kept trying to describe the boy’s beauty for hours and hours but he still had a duty to  acomplish . Je would do anything to keep his leader safe, even if it meant capturing this being. Which is what he should be doing. But he was stuck in place.

Did the boy lay a spell on him? That would be the only possible explanation for what’s going on.  Jongho knows he has to capture him for their leader.  _ His  _ leader. He isn’t a traitor. He always does what he is told without a second thought. Then why can’t he do anything against this lifeless, beautiful, porcelain doll?

The angel obviously noticed the predicament  Jongho was in and in the commander’s mind there were only red signals. Was the blonde going to kill him with his beautiful hands? Would that beautiful face capture him and torture him for information? Would he make all of  Jongho’s hours of training useless? He was helpless in this situation and he felt something ugly rear its head out.

Weakness. He was weak right now.  Jongho thought he had gotten stronger but as he keeps staring at such disturbing eyes in such a beautiful frame he feels as he has been proven wrong. His knees can’t help but shake, not quite giving up. Not yet at least.

All of his fears were in vain though. The deity steps closer and closer and  Jongho finds a weird sense of belonging coming along with him. He keeps walking until there is only one step between them.  Jongho feels way too comfortable. The last time he felt something even remotely close was when he ate Seonghwa’s cooking but just like with everything with this mystery, the feeling was way,  _ way _ stronger. He  could also see his “imperfections” now, namely a scar beside his eye that somehow just made him more beautiful

He wanted to at least talk with the maybe human being in front of him, but nothing went how  Jongho wanted it to  apparently because just how his feet were stuck to the ground, his tongue was tied in a thousand knots, impossible to undo even one of them

The blonde mullet inspected his face and then his outfit, circling around the commander, hands behind his back like a little kid. He touched the material of the suit, played with the band and even took his cross away for a few seconds before putting it back where it belonged. To say  Jongho got a mini heart attack would be an understatement, all of his breath got knocked out of his lungs with barely any interaction

The blonde god seemed satisfied for now, taking a few steps backs and as if to bless  Jongho for his cooperation

_ He smiled _

Jongho thought he was going to die with how fast his heart started beating. The only time his heart should beat fast should be while training, pushing his body to the limit or in the battlefield, adrenaline cursing through his veins like a motor. But this was nothing like it. It made his chest swell  uncomfortably , it made blood rush to his head, to his cheeks to be more precise and made the commander, one of if not the strongest asset of wonderland army, feel like a fish out of the water

Jongho opened and closed his mouth like an idiot a few times and my goodness  was it worth it. He would entertain any man, woman, animal or god to listen to that sound again

_ He was laughing _

Sure, he was laughing at one of the most respected men in the world but that didn’t matter because it was beautiful. This was the beauty  Jongho had always wanted to achieve by going to the door of truth. A place that is always and never. Everything and nothing. Beauty in  its purest form is art and art  is but a means for beauty

“You’re still just as cute  Jongho ... I’ll see you later... maybe” Those were the only words spoken by such art, proving once again that it was beauty personified with a melodious voice like no other and even as  Jongho saw him walk away, taking his comfort with him, the commander could only think that even the way he walks is beautiful. He didn’t question how or why he knew his name

And then he’s gone, no trace of the blonde ever being in this hallway. Not a speck of dust nor a strand of hair left for  Jongho . Nothing but his memory and his beating heart reminding him that it wasn’t a dream, it was truly a blessing that  Jongho would take to the door of truth. He will get there, no matter how many flights of infinite stairs he has to climb. He will take their black flag to the top and meet that man again.

No, he meant save his people and animals and every piece life that exists on this planet. Even if none of them will ever be as beautiful and worthy as whatever he just saw.

Jongho felt empty as he walked back to his quarters. As if the man had showed him how it felt to be truly complete, something he had never felt before.  Jongho shook his head. He should try to forget about what just happened, it won’t help him on his mission and should be treated as the useless  experience it is. But he doesn’t want to forget it

No  Jongho . You have to forget it. It is greedy to try and remember such a blissful feeling while everyone is doing their best without it. He still isn’t worthy of it. The only worthy person is their leader... 

He entered his room (He fortunately had it to himself), he showered, changed clothes, brushed his teeth, laid down and even as he was falling asleep, looking out through his window. No stars could ever be seen here, the smoke from every fire has covered even the moon in its brightest time. When was the last time he had seen it? Isn't it lonely? Why was an almost beautiful sight hidden from everyone?

Jongho chuckled to himself, it had been a long time since he had had so many useless thoughts. If their leader knew...  Jongho might no longer be commander. No commander should be as distracted as he is, he has to get it together before he becomes weak again.

A good  nights rest seemed to be all that  Jongho needed to get rid of those dumb ideas. He wakes up feeling... same as always... He gets ready, double checking his uniform before meeting Seonghwa for breakfast. As he walked he heard a few soldiers talking, something about what they were eating... Someone else complaining about the lack of girls to which  Jongho scoffed and something  Jongho couldn’t make out. It couldn’t have been that important either way

Jongho got his breakfast, the same one he got every day and sat down where he always did, waiting for Seonghwa to arrive. His partner got to their table a little bit later than usual but  Jongho brushed it off, he probably slipped in the bath or something. However, the longer they stayed in front of  eachother the more  Jongho noticed how distracted Seonghwa was. He was eating oh so slowly and looking around a bit paranoid. Normal people wouldn’t notice it but  Jongho knew lust like the back of his hand

They finished eating and  Jongho dragged the older away to somewhere where they could talk. Away from eyes, ears, cameras, everything. The downside of being here is that there is no way to ask for help, so Seonghwa better talk before someone comes up from behind to kill them

“What is wrong with you today?”

Jongho shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t care if it doesn’t concern their leader. That is the only person  Jongho should care about and he feels  guilty for not doing so but he can deal with the guilt for now. This is Seonghwa after all.

Seonghwa knew that this was a “safe space” (in terms of exchanging information that is). He still considered  wether to tell his commander or not. His  maknae in this two people group. Who was asking him right now? A younger brother who cares deeply and can’t (or doesn’t know how) to show it? Or is it the talented and deadly commander of an army with an unhealthy obsession towards their leader?

The older just took a leap of faith as he told Jongho 

“I think a group of rebels infiltrated the place yesterday... and I'm pretty sure one of them is the one  Yunho named...” 

Jongho tensed up and the whole place was filled with silence so tense you could cut it with a knife. He had failed. There had been an intruder and he just let that beautiful- no. Potentially dangerous man run around freely. He had failed their leader and as such, he had failed everyone he knew.

“ Jongho ? What’s wrong? Did you see one of them by any chance? Oh my god, did they hurt you?” Seonghwa grew worried the longer  Jongho stayed silent, he reached out to him to check if he had any wounds but  Jongho pulled back quickly, looking up at the older with a terrified  expression

“Hyung... I couldn’t catch him. I put everyone in trouble. I disappointed our leader, I'm still weak a-and we aren’t  gonna be able to get to the door of truth. What if they stole information? What if they’re planning on killing us? What if-”  Jongho genuinely thought that his failure would cause everyone's demise. And Seonghwa... Seonghwa could only look down at him sadly, bringing the commander into a hug

“It’s been so long since you called me  hyung ...” Said Seonghwa softly. It had also been so long since  Jongho had heard that voice, it felt way too familiar even though he had only heard Seonghwa like this a few times. It sounded like home, it was very weird

“Don’t worry about this  Jongho , everyone here is strong. You  know that right? We can take care of some rebels no problem”  Jongho nodded but he really wasn’t sure if this would end in a mere fist fight. He had a weird feeling about this.

They were lucky nothing happened while they were having their moment, there was always someone watching them however. Ignorance isn’t always bliss.

“Attention everyone! Today you will be moving truck wheels through the field by pulling at the chains attached, understand? Get to it” And just like that Seonghwa was back to usual, being the strict colonel he always was and always will be

The new guys were doing fine, most of them were average and a few of them walked slower but it was fine all around. Except for that one guy.

Did Seonghwa have bad luck? Yesterday there was that guy  Yunho who couldn’t stand the fire but kept going. Now there was someone who couldn’t move the wheel at all but  Jongho couldn’t look at him for too long... When he did look at him for more than 10 seconds the chains seemed to multiply, trapping him in place as he desperately tried to escape.

And it hurt  Jongho’s chest for some reason

He looked over to lust and the same thing seemed to be happening to him. Weird to say the least.  Jongho went closer to Seonghwa, whispering in his ear “Ask that  Yunho guy to come over and ask him about  _ him.  _ You see it too right?”

Seonghwa nodded, doing as he was told.  Yunho answered cheerfully “Oh! That’s Jung  Wooyoung ! We're both from  Thanxx and I honestly don’t know why he’s struggling so much, he’s just as strong as I am...” that isn’t right though.  Yunho was in first place while  Wooyoung hasn’t even moved “I- Thank you  Yunho , keep going” “Will do colonel!”

Okay. There were two options here. Either  Yunho is lying to them for no reason or  Wooyoung has some invisible/ magical chains that are keeping him from moving. Neither sound too believable right now but  Jongho was actually leaning towards the chains. Maybe this guy had a link to the door of truth or to the mysterious man he saw yesterday. He couldn’t just ask him outright so  Jongho decided to wait and  keep a close eye on him.

Wooyoung obviously failed the first exercise but he did all the other exercises flawlessly... it was weird to say the least, they could tell the other soldiers found it weird as well and some even started keeping their distance.  Yunho was obviously not one of them, animatedly talking the tall retriever quickly befriended the little corgi (Seonghwa came up with the nicknames)

“Training has ended for today. You already know but I am going to repeat it. Eat and then to your quarters”  And as  always the commander and the colonel went to eat together, surrounded by the chatter of all the other soldiers. And not like always, two other people sat down beside them.  Yunho beside  Jongho and  Wooyoung beside Seonghwa. They kept talking and paid no mind to the silent eaters that were there beside them.

That was until  Wooyoung decided to tease them. “Hey  Yunho , these two are always together. Do you think they’re dating?” he  fake asked, smirking at his higher ups.  Jongho and Seonghwa choked on their food and  Yunho looked terrified, with reason though. If looks could kill  Wooyoung would be 12ft under however, no comments were made

Before  Wooyoung could genuinely kill himself  Yunho dragged him away, saying that they had finished their food and had to go back to their quarters when they obviously hadn’t.  Jongho and Seonghwa looked at each other, doing their best to keep in their laughter. Those two would be fun to be around, let’s hope they don’t lose what they have. The two higher ups found them strangely endearing

Jongho and Seonghwa parted ways to check that everyone was in their quarters and  Jongho was determined to catch that blonde mullet if he found him. He would force his eyes to not see his beauty. No way he would let a rebel get away again, he has to protect their leader with everything he has.

He kept walking and suddenly heard some noise coming from far away. He shouldn’t care but that was  were Seonghwa was checking... He decided to fuck it and run to where the colonel, where his  hyung was.

Seonghwa was on the floor, it seems he fell down. In front of him there was a man that wasn’t from his group and that badge... He was a rebel, so why wasn’t Seonghwa doing anything? The older looked terrified of whoever was in front of him, mouth opening and closing several times and... was he trembling? Had this guy done something to Seonghwa? That was the only explanation 

Determined to protect Seonghwa,  Jongho surged forward towards the rebel. The  unkown man was... weak easily put it.  Jongho pushed him onto the floor and he just fell down without a fight.  _ Better for us _ , he thought. Grabbing him by his shirt and getting ready for the punch but  _ Jesus _ _ fucking  _ _ Christ _

Why were his eyes like that as well? Why did he have that weird feeling as well? And did he also have some beauty in him? It had to be some weird cult shit. There was no other explanation for the badge and maybe they had a drug on them that made them feel like home? A-and the contact lenses, it had to be a rebel cult, right?-

“My Joongie? Who are you? W-why do I know who you are? Why do I want to get  closer...”

What?  Jongho was even more confused and three times as freaked out after Seonghwa spoke. What the fuck was he holding? Because it sure as hell wasn’t human. Why the fuck did Seonghwa say  my ? and most importantly, who is this guy? 

Jongho just let the guy go, stepping back closer to Seonghwa. It was hard to hurt him while he had that weird drug that made him feel safe “Speak before I send you to god” bluffing never hurt anyone

The rebel sat up and waited a while, a long while, before speaking “Can I get closer to Seonghwa?” Oh hell no.  Jongho got defensive immediately, sure his voice was nice but no way he would let his  hyung get hurt. Seonghwa on the other hand was mesmerized by said voice, nodding with a weird mix of curiosity, fascination and fear

Jongho blinked and the guy was suddenly beside Seonghwa on the floor, cupping one of his cheeks gently. He felt many things wash over him in an instant, amazement over how quick this man was, protectiveness over Seonghwa and a sense of familiarity...

“H-how do you I know-”

“Don’t worry about it my love... don’t worry for now”

Why was this bitch flirting with Seonghwa and why was Seonghwa blushing at it? This was the cold man who burned people to a crisp without thinking twice in order to complete their goal. It didn’t make any sense no matter how  Jongho looked at it

“I missed you so much Hwa... You don’t even know how long it took us to find you. I don’t have much  time; we’re still working on it but please know that I love you”

“ Wh \- I don’t- I-I... okay...”

And then the guy  disappeared into thin air


	2. Devoted to their nation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea what i'm doing with this tory but it's going somewhere! Either way i hope you enjoy <3

_The darkness outside the window will cover our story_

_Little salty_

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To say that they were lost would be an understatement. One thing was to infiltrate their incredibly secure base, another was to have a weird drug on their clothes and a completely different one was to disappear into thin air after telling a stranger you love them. 

Seonghwa hadn’t spoken to him since the incident, he always had a melancholic look nowadays to the point that even Wooyoung and Yunho realized something was wrong with the colonel. Speaking of Wooyoung and Yunho, those two have also been acting weird lately. They’re unusually jumpy and Yunho is always looking around as if he was searching for something... or someone, considering the events of the last few day that wouldn’t be so weird. 

And Jongho? While he was worried for Seonghwa he found himself thinking more about the rebels, a certain blonde mullet just didn’t seem to go away from his mind and it didn’t bother him too much actually. He could still do all his tasks, he still cared for the colonel and most importantly, his goal hadn’t changed at all. He was still loyal to their leader, so who cares if he thought about such a beautiful face sometimes? 

Seonghwa finally came around a week later, calling Jongho over to their secret spot. Safe from cameras but not from death spot. He still looked conflicted, Seonghwa probably had been thinking about this nonstop trying to wrap his head around something so bizarre. Jongho just waited for him to start talking, whatever it was they could figure it out together (And maybe he’d get the chance to see his- I mean that fallen angel) 

“Okay, I'm sure you can guess why I asked you out here... I've been trying to figure out what that man was exactly because he definitely wasn’t human...” 

Now hold on a second. Jongho would have agreed, the rebel disappeared into thin air and they had some weird drug on them but the commander had a feeling they weren’t on the same page about this man. 

Why? 

Because Seonghwa was covering his mouth and looking away like a freaking dating sim character after you pick the right choice, probably blushing as well. Jongho was freaked out and honestly, even a bit disappointed. How did this Joong guy have so much power to the point of breaking the wall Seonghwa had taken so long to perfect? And the colonel... how could he let himself be distracted from their duty? From their most important thing, _from their reason to live_. The door of truth 

Jongho will let it slide for now but he’ll have to keep an eye on Seonghwa, he can’t let his Hyung be abducted or something by these rebels 

“I honestly think he’s part of a cult. I think Wooyoung and Yunho are involved, they’ve been way to nervous and jumpy lately. It's suspicious” 

Seonghwa didn’t seem to like that answer, tensing up and clearing his throat. Jongho would be lying if he said Seonghwa didn’t look very suspicious right now 

“...Are you sure it’s a cult because- I mean you’re gonna call me crazy but I've been thinking... what if he was like my guardian angel or something? I mean he appeared out of nowhere but I knew his name and he was so ethereal and he knew _my_ name not to mention he disappeared in front of my eyes so- yeah...” 

Jongho sighed. He was expecting this but still. “Seonghwa, the only way for angels to exist is to go through the door of truth. Has anyone ever gone through that door?” Silence. There was only one answer and Seonghwa knew it as well 

“No... but-” 

“Seonghwa, listen to me, these people are obviously not on our side. I don’t know how they do what they did but we can’t linger on it for too long. We have duties to attend to” 

Seonghwa looked down at his feet and nodded, obviously not satisfied with the conversation but they both knew Jongho was right, even if he was a bit of a hypocrite. 

The day went on as usual... kind of. Jongho still had Yunho and Wooyoung to deal with. They were still suspicious; he would have to investigate and try to find proof of their alliance with the rebels 

After they trained and finished eating Jongho followed his two suspects instead of looking for people that weren’t in their quarters. Catching traitors was more important than some dumbass who got extra hungry one day or trying to flirt with someone from another unit (Both have happened before by the way) 

Their group went into the showers and Jongho easily slipped past them, hiding in one of the stalls. It was awkward for the commander to be in here, has it been a year since he last used one of these? Jongho was the same from back then but Seonghwa? Oh boy Seonghwa was something he once- 

No time for reminiscing, focus on the task at hand Jongho! He’ll give props to those two, they waited for everyone to get out and even checked assistance to make sure no one was left inside. Jokes on them though, Jongho obviously wasn’t in that list. Time to uncover these bastards... 

“Are you sure there is no one left beside us?” 

“I’m more than sure Yunho. I’ve double, triple checked just in case. Let’s hurry this up before Seonghwa finds us out of our quarters” 

Yunho sighed, still looking around nervously even when no one was supposedly around “So the other day, the day after you said you saw _him_ I ran into a guy in the hallways and he also had that weird badge” 

Him? If they’re talking about the insignia then they probably also ran into the rebels, why didn’t they report to him or Seonghwa if they aren’t involved? Everything just gets more confusing by the second 

Wooyoung suddenly interrupted, holding Yunho by his arms. He sounded a bit desperate to be honest “You saw him? How did he look? Was he okay?” 

Yunho blushed a bit as he remembered the man he saw in the hallway “I mean... I know he’s probably a rebel or at least in some illegal shit but he was so handsome... Tall... he had thick lips and an undercut of dark blonde hair. His eyes were kinda freaky though, you were right about that” 

Wooyoung pulled back, taking a few steps as he furrowed his eyebrows. Yunho noticed and quickly got nervous, going into worst case scenario mode “Oh god, did I do something? Or should I have done something about him?” 

Wooyoung shook his head, looking back up at Yunho “No it’s okay... Why didn’t you report him to the authorities though?” 

Yunho looked back at Wooyoung with confusion written all over his face, tilting his head “Why would I report my Mingi-Ming to the authorities?” 

There seemed to be a lot of awkward silences today. 

“How do you-” started Wooyoung but the taller interrupted him in panic. He was holding his head between his hands, terrified of himself or what the mysterious man had potentially done to him to be more accurate “I don’t know! I swear on my life I don’t know him! I don’t know who that M-Mingi-Ming is either, I'm not a rebel or a traitor Wooyoung please don’t hand me in!” 

Yunho had quickly fallen to his knees, holding Wooyoung’s hands in a prayer. He was a good citizen and even a good soldier, he didn’t want to die or maybe something worse just because a weird handsome guy drugged him and made him look like a rebel 

“I’m not gonna hand you in dumbass. Stand up. Come on” Yunho nodded, poor thing was about to cry as he stood up. Wooyoung wanted to test a few things, before that though, he had a question “How did he leave the hallway? they’re like a maze if you don’t know your way around” 

Yunho looked at Wooyoung with all seriousness when he spoke “He just disappeared into thin air” _Bingo_ thought Jongho, he was now sure that this other guy Yunho saw was also a rebel and somehow also knew his name, just like Seonghwa with that Joong guy. So they were both under some kind of drug probably or at least something like that 

Jongho stayed in the shower stall and kept listening, this was a gold mine of information. 

Wooyoung took a deep breath, this was some messy shit him and Yunho got into. “Okay yeah... He’s from the same place or organization the guy I saw is from but they aren’t the same guy. I know, one of them sounds bad enough and we got two on our hands” 

Jongho scoffed to himself, the irony of that statement is way too big. As of now they had his angel, Joong guy and Mingi-Ming. So at least three, now which one did Wooyoung see- 

“The guy I saw was a bit taller than me and had pitch black hair. What else... uhh... he had an eyebrow slit! And he was wearing the badge of course. Well, I already told you this before but he was so fucking handsome it’s unfair” 

Did this cult only recruit handsome guys? What kind of rule is this? Or is it that weird drug? Maybe it’s making them look better in our eyes... that could be it. Jongho was trying to piece everything together but this group of rebels would be difficult to deal with, especially if anyone who saw them would be affected by the drug 

“Do you know his name?” Asked Yunho and Wooyoung obviously shook his head, he wouldn’t be calling him just guy or him if he knew but the recruits seem to be thinking the same. Almost. Yunho’s idea included a bit more of teasing “Wooyoung, who’s the most handsome guy you know?” 

Wooyoung scoffed and for a second Yunho thought it didn’t work “That’s easy. It’s my little San-shine" 

Yunho started laughing but it was quickly cut off by the sound of a shower opening and someone shoving Wooyoung against the wall. The new soldiers looked shocked, eyes wide as plates at their commander who looked pissed, no, that wasn’t enough to describe whatever Jongho was feeling. It was way more complicated. 

Yunho and Wooyoung were both too scared to talk or move, waiting for Jongho to do something first. Neither of them wanted to get in trouble with the commander, they really weren’t rebels. But how could they convince Jongho? 

“What is his full name?” 

“W-what?” answered Wooyoung, still very much confused and terrified for his life 

“Don’t fuck with me! What’s that San-shine's guy full name?!” Jongho was almost screaming at Wooyoung, making the weaker coward in front of him, tears in his eyes 

“I-I don’t k-know... please forgive me I'm so sorry sir! I-I... My loyalty belongs to our white masked leader and no one else!” Wooyoung was almost rambling but what else do you do when you might get punched in the face to death by one of, if not the most ruthless guy in the whole nation 

Jongho pulled back, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. Having the guy break down won’t help him “Yunho, ask him a question. Anything to get the guy’s full name” 

Yunho nodded but didn’t obey right away, it earned him a glare but he was fortunately safe from any harm. He comforted Wooyoung so that he could calm down, and after a minute or two he finally asked “What’s your boyfriend’s full name again?” 

Wooyoung sniffled and looked at Yunho confused “How could you forget your friends name? It’s _Choi San-_ ” 

Jongho grabbed Wooyoung’s shoulders, this time he was the one looking shocked. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. Not only did he look like one he also felt like a fish out of the water, half dead and then someone decided to pour a bucket of cold water on his body. “How do you know my brother? What do you mean he’s one of the rebels? That's impossible I saw his dead body. What the fuck are you talking about Wooyoung” 

Wooyoung and Yunho looked at each other, just as scared of the information Jongho ha god d given them without thinking “D-Dead?... W-what was he a zombie? Oh my that would explain the fucking dead eyes, is it a zombie cult?!” Wooyoung should really learn to keep his mouth shut 

Jongho didn’t know what to do anymore, he wordlessly walked away, leaving the two friends scared and confused, they didn’t have the guts to call for their commander though. Jongho dragged his feet through the hallways towards his room. Was it the same San? Could his brother really be revived as a zombie? Did that mean all the other rebels, even his angel, were zombies as well? Why did everyone know the name of the person they had bumped into except him? They were so many questions and literally no answers 

He was so shocked, dazed, whatever you want to call it that he didn’t notice someone waiting for him in front of his room, a certain blonde-haired beauty. Jongho bumped right into him, feeling a forehead against his own. He looked down and once again felt a rush of emotions but they were much more confusing this time 

_How are you related to my brother? Are you really a zombie? Where did you come from? Why do you feel so homely? Why are you so beautiful? Why can’t I bring myself to hand you in? Why don’t I know your name?_

_Why?_

_Why?_

**_Why?_ **

The angel looked up at him with a worried expression, tilting his head slightly he reached out to touch Jongho fearlessly, he cupped the commander's cheeks oh so softly. The caress was so loving, thumb rubbing against his cheek and there was really no other option but to forget all his worries and melt into the touch 

“Why are you so pale? You look like you saw a ghost!” The beauty laughed softly but the beast quickly freed himself from this weird trance. It was his turn to ask the questions. It was difficult to even more around such a perfect being but Jongho somehow pinned him against the wall, preventing him from escape, although it would be pretty useless if he could disappear into thin air like the rest. 

“Y-You answer me this time... please” God he hated sounding so weak... but whatever drug this cult had was strong as fuck. He cleared his throat, feeling like a fool confessing to his crush, heart racing and everything. “Who or better put, what are you?” 

The blonde looked like he was debating whether to answer or not, humming as he looked at Jongho for an unsettlingly long time “I’m human I can guarantee you that much... I’m or as I am sure you’ve met the rest; _we_ aren’t from around here. But don’t worry about that for now, Hongjoong will explain everything tomorrow” Jongho was about to point out he didn’t know who that was. No one called out for a Hongjoong wait- Hongjoong... Hong... Joong, it’s Seonghwa’s guy! The one with the blue hair, is that their leader? 

The man in front of Jongho started pouting, he grabbed the bottom of taller’s shirt, giving the commander the cutest look he could before speaking “You’re thinking about someone else aren’t you... When I'm around you have to only think about me! Am I too ugly for you or something...” W-were those tears? Why was his angel about to cry about something so insignificant? Either way Jongho quickly shook his head, scrambling to find the right thing to say. Have in mind that you don’t really develop social skills in the army (They have no use for their leader so Jongho never tried to develop them either way) 

“N-No! I wasn’t thinking about anyone else! You’re the most beautiful person I've ever met...” Jongho felt blood rush to his cheeks in what he would not admit is a blush. The blonde seemed happy with that answer though, the commander did see a knowing smirk before it moved on to his angelic smile 

Jongho realized that the position he put them in was... misleading to put it someway and slowly walked back, the angel just followed forward though, keeping the distance from before. It was making Jongho even more nervous, his heart was in his throat and it was beating faster than ever. 

The angel spoke before Jongho could even open his mouth “This is your room, right? Let’s go inside, what would people think if they saw their commander with someone who broke in?” Well shit. Angel just admitted to breaking in but as it happened to everyone who had come across this cult, Jongho just couldn’t even imagine taking him in 

He opened the door to his room and let the blonde in first. He looked around the room without focusing on the details too much. He turned to Jongho after he closed the door “It looks just like how I remember it. It’s missing a few things but nothing too important...” 

“How do you know what my room looks like... The only person that has been in here is Seo- is someone you don’t know...” 

The angel just laughed at him like he had suddenly remembered a hilarious joke (He should also get his name, while it’s no lie that he is angel a name would be more than nice) “Oh you dummy, I have been here many, many times” He walked over to the one window, looking out into the night sky as if it still had all the stars it used to shower them with “Yet you never noticed how I felt...” 

“What’s your name?” Jongho was a bit worried that it came off as rude but he needed to know. The other turned to the commander with a chuckle, he really didn’t seem that bothered by it however, he looked... melancholic 

“You really haven’t changed at all... my name is Yeosang, Kang Yeosang. Please don’t forget it” 

Jongho could only nod. Yeosang, it’s a pretty name. The person is a lot prettier but also a lot more confusing. 

“I have to ask a favor from you though. If anyone asks if you saw me today, please say you didn’t” Huh? But weren’t the rebels or cult or whatever they were a team? Why would he want to keep it a secret? “I can tell you’re wondering why” well shit thought Jongho, Yeosang is way too good at reading people. Or maybe it’s just him. He kind of hopes it’s just him. “I found a way to stay here longer and I don’t want to share it just yet...” 

It’s suspicious, very suspicious but Jongho will respect his angels wishes. After that Yeosang kept walking around the room, talking about things they had done together that Jongho straight up had never done. He mentioned a time when they snuck out but Jongho would never even imagine breaking a rule. That was a direct breach of loyalty to their leader. He said they had visited a flower field but Jongho has only seen one in his life and he sure doesn’t want to go back 

Nothing about this man makes sense to Jongho but he finds that he doesn’t mind too much. Being with Yeosang feels nice and homely and he’s feeling… things he has never felt before. He knows he should just hand him in actually… wait, why? Yeosang hasn’t done anything but walk around, why should he be put in jail? Or anyone for that matter? What was he thinking… their leader is the one who put the rules down. Their leader wants the best and only the best for them… right? 

The blonde suddenly pinned Jongho to the bed, straddling his legs. God Jongho had never felt this way before. His heart was about to pop out of his chest if Yeosang kept pouting cutely like that “I told you before… don’t think about other people when I’m around” How did he know Jongho was thinking about his leader? Well, he never stopped thinking about such a pure person but Yeosang… Yeosang was nowhere near as pure and still he found himself wanting to do as he told. Wanting to, _yes, only think about him_ and it scared him 

The angel turned his head to the side teasingly “Come on~ It’s not that hard, as long as I’m around just empty your mind… relax… doesn’t that sound nice? You can just be Choi Jongho around me. No need to be the commander or a dedicated follower. Just think of **me** “ Jongho doesn’t remember when he told the man above him his full name… when did he give him his first name actually? Does it really matter? Does it matter when he has such beauty in front of him, even those dead eyes of him give out a morbidly beautiful aura and maybe, just maybe he can do what he says… forget the world around him and let himself just be Jongho. Just Jongho and Yeosang. Sneaking out… Seeing a flower field… secretly… under the stars that would come back some day and would fill his angels eyes… 

_It really doesn’t sound that_ bad 

Yeosang really seemed to read minds, suddenly smiling as he deciphered what the oh so cold commander was thinking, he rolled off and reached out with his hand. Jongho just took it without thinking. The angel lead him to the bathroom and helped him do everything he did before going to bed and walked out when Jongho had to change. There were no words spoken but it was weirdly intimate and Jongho felt like he was under a spell. It was so relaxing… to just have someone doting on you… no words necessary…. 

Yeosang then lead him back to bed, snuggling in with him. He looked up at the stronger and smiled, reaching out to play with his hair. Jongho couldn’t complain. He was slowly falling asleep though, eyes feeling heavier by the second. The last thing he heard was Yeosang’s melodic voice 

“I’m sorry. But it’s for our own good” 

_Yeosang wasn’t there in the morning._ _There was no trace of the blonde boy…_

_. . ._

Jongho met up with Seonghwa in the canteen to eat breakfast together, Yunho and Wooyoung were there as well... but they hadn’t said a thing. Jongho knew it was because of yesterday but whatever, they were meant to be colder and if it happened quicker because of whatever his angel was then so be it. They had to be that way to save their people 

_Wait yesterday…._

Oh God. He had completely forgotten about that guy Wooyoung saw because of Yeosang. How is that even possible? This is his brother we’re talking about here how could he forget something so damn important because of a pretty face? I mean Yeosang isn’t just a pretty face even though- STOP it doesn’t matter if there’s more to the blonde, the facts are he’s a terrible person for forgetting about it so easily 

He was lost in his inner turmoil when Seonghwa suddenly pushed a note in front of them, it read: 

_“Meet me_ _in the talking safe spot,_

_Jongho and Seonghwa should know where it is_

_-H”_

Well if that isn’t ominous as fuck… 


	3. Devoted to something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I am back once again! I actually like how this chapter turned out so yeah :D hope you enjoy it!  
> (Edit: I reuploaded this chapter because i hated how it ended so yeah. If you read the old version you have a bit of a spoiler)

_ Stay _ _ in  _ _ your _ __ _ world _ __ _ when _ __ _ it _ __ _ lights _ _ up _

_ The _ __ _ sun _ __ _ rises _ __ _ during _ __ _ your _ __ _ night _

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone at the table stared at the note. How did they know about that place? Well, it’s a place they could know it exists but how does “H” know  Jongho and Seonghwa use it as a safe spot to talk (Even though with how much he has talked these last days it seems like that place is useless now)

Wooyoung was the first to speak up, moving the piece of paper away from him and leaning back on his chair. He was looking at it with a mix of disgust and disbelief “We are not going there right? I mean, this is the most obvious trap I have ever seen. Who even is this H? He’s got guts sending the colonel and the commander orders”  the soldier crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking around the three of them for any answers. 

He was almost 100% sure the note was from of the zombie-cult guys... Where  Jongho’s brother might be in... He’s surprised  Jongho doesn’t look absolutely devastated, not that he wants the commander to be sad but it  _ is  _ what someone would expect after finding out someone you thought was dead might not be... and if that  _ is _ his brother then  Wooyoung had called the commander’s brother hot... that also feels very wrong and a little illegal

Yunho agreed, nodding his head. Whoever “H” was, they were dangerous. They knew about a place that neither he or  Wooyoung knew about. They know  Jongho’s and Seonghwa’s real names even though (almost) everyone just calls them commander/ colonel 

Seonghwa was staring at the paper square with an empty look in his eyes.  Jongho felt kind of bad for him. He had been able to see  Yeosang again and even talk to him properly, it had been amazing but Seonghwa didn’t even know blue hair’s full name. 

_ Wait...  _ _ Yeosang _ _ mentioned him yesterday, didn’t he? _

_ “I’m human I can guarantee you that much... I’m or as I am sure you’ve met the rest;  _ _ we _ _ aren’t from around here. But don’t worry about that for now,  _ _ Hongjoong _ _ will explain everything tomorrow” _

_ Hongjoong... _

_ Blue hair... _

_ “ _ _ H” ... _

Jongho took the note from the table, staring at it. How could he have been so blind? This was obviously Seonghwa’s Joong! So, this writing... it could be  Yeosang’s since he was here yesterday, but so was the guy  Yunho saw and ...San

“We are going to meet up with these people” Even Seonghwa looked shocked at what  Jongho had said. To the rest of the table, it sounded like a suicide mission and it wasn’t like he could explain to them how he knew they weren’t  gonna die. How do you even go about saying you let a beautiful maybe half dead rebel into your room and then you talked for a little while?  Jongho _ is _ loyal to their leader but even he wouldn’t believe himself. Not to mention...

_ Yeosang _ _ asked him to keep it a se _ _ cr _ _ et _

The colonel looked at  Jongho dead in the eyes, this was serious. Very serious. They had a note from someone who definitely isn’t on their side and may be planning to kill both of them. He was not going to let  Jongho go there on a whim “ Jongho , you know I care about you a lot but what the fuck?  Wooyoung and  Yunho are right and you know it. This note, this piece of paper right here, doing what it says is a death wish!”

Wooyoung and  Yunho were just getting shocked more and more. Seonghwa had never talked to  Jongho like that. Even though he was younger,  Jongho was still in a higher position than him, and as such, deserve the respect from people below him. Did the commander really care about this? Not with people he liked (Hence why  Wooyoung and  Yunho are still alive) but even so, Seonghwa had never, not even when they first joined, reprimanded him that way

“I cannot explain to you why but I am 100% sure that this-”  Jongho slammed the piece of paper back onto the table, startling the rest who were honestly baffled by the whole situation “Is going to answer a lot of our questions, the main one being, who  _ they  _ are”

An awkward silence spread around the table for  obvious reasons. How was  Jongho so sure about this? And why was he being secretive? There was no way they were going to just believe him just like that, even if he was the commander none of the other three people in that table were just blind followers. And  Jongho was just digging a hole for himself here

Yunho sighed and leaned back on his chair “Fuck it. I’ll go with the commander. I'm  gonna die in the battlefield anyway, might as well take the risk and find out who the guy I saw was”  Wooyoung and Seonghwa could not believe it really and while  Jongho was also surprised it was overshadowed by a feeling of relief. At least  Yunho didn't think he was part of the cult-

“I have two conditions however”  Yunho usually didn’t look the part (Or act it) but he was incredibly smart, he had to be to stay alive but  Jongho would be lying if he said it didn’t piss him off even a little bit “Number one, how do you two know about these guys? I want the whole story and number two, commander I don’t mean to be rude but how are you so sure this is from them? This only says “H” and unless it’s someone you two know that we don’t, then this is mad suspicious”

It was actually a lot easier than  Jongho thought. Seonghwa didn’t feel too good talking about it so he let  Jongho do it. He told  Yunho and  Wooyoung about the incident with  Hongjoong , calling him just Joong for now so Seonghwa knew who he was talking about. Here came the hardest part though, how was he  gonna explain the fact that he knows  Hongjoong’s name and who he is, without mentioning Yeosang...

“And with the note well... after the incident that happened in the bathroom, I started walking back to my room to just sleep it off but on my way there I heard people talking, they weren’t Seonghwa or any other high official so they should be in their quarters, right?” Seonghwa didn’t know what incident  Jongho was talking about but the other two nodded so either way, he was telling the truth in his eyes for now 

“So, I went over to where people were talking but they weren’t soldiers. They didn’t have their uniforms on but I saw they had that badge on their clothes” Everyone still believes him, okay, okay shit, how did the guy  Yunho saw look like? He can’t say he saw  Yeosang with  Hongjoong and the only people left are San and whoever  Yunho saw. And it can’t be san because he would’ve broken down

“One of them was Joong” Seonghwa immediately perked up at that, staring at  Jongho intensely “And I didn’t get the other guy's name but he was tall he had uh... light brown hair and thick lips”  Yunho had described it as dark blonde in the bathroom but he was either too excited to notice or it didn’t really matter

“And the guy was like reporting back to Joong, so he’s probably the leader. And his name isn’t Joong. Tall guy called him  Hongjoong , hence the H. So, this is a meeting orchestrated by  Hongjoong , probably because we have met all  _ three  _ of them. And honestly? Any clue on what they are or where they are from will make it easier to get rid of them, so yeah, I'm willing to take the risk”

No one could debate against that logic.  Jongho turned to Seonghwa who was murmuring to himself with what seemed to be the smallest smile ever and even though he couldn’t hear the colonel, he definitely saw how his lips moved to say Hongjoong. 

It felt weird to see Seonghwa like that, it wasn’t the first time his Hyung had expressed happiness or anything of the sort but this... infatuation with  Hongjoong was different than everything else he had seen.

Yunho was more than satisfied with explanation and so  Jongho already had someone on board and it looks like Seonghwa wants to see blue hair again so he only needs to convince  Wooyoung to go as well... or not

“Fuck it. I can tell colonel lust wants to go as well so let’s just do this shit. If we die though I'll blame it on the commander” 

That was it then. Seonghwa and  Jongho made the other two promise that they wouldn’t tell anyone else about this place before going there, even if the rebels knew about it, it was better to keep the place for the eight of them only... if they make it out alive that is

Even though he is the one that convinced the rest to go,  Jongho was nervous, he would be seeing  Yeosang again and for the first time there would be other people around. Yeah, nervous was an understatement. But  Yeosang wanted to keep it a secret that they saw each other... maybe it would be easier that way? But how would he know?

His inner monologue about  Yeosang didn’t finish until they got to the location where they were supposed to meet up. Everybody looked surprisingly calm, except they weren’t.  Yunho’s knees were trembling just like  Wooyoung’s hands and Seonghwa was looking around every corner to find these damn rebels. This was  gonna be something

After a few minutes of waiting, they saw a little light far away and then a group of people was approaching them.  Jongho recognized most of them as they came into view,  Hongjoong at the front, then came  Yeosang beside him, a tall guy so that was  Yunho’s ...

And San

It really was him there was no way around it. Sure, his hair was all black instead of having lighter ends and his shoulders were a bit wider but that was still San. He felt like throwing up at first but he was the commander of the wonderland army, whatever it was he could take it if it meant protecting his leader but...

Jongho felt... weird... even as they approached, being a group of very talented and well-trained people, who were probably trying to kill them or at least take over the country, he couldn’t see them as an actual threat. I mean, he even let  Yeosang into his room but that’s another thing.

It’s just- How can he see them as a threat when he saw  Hongjoong talking to Seonghwa with so much passion and relief? Even if his eyes were dead (They still are by the way), his voice just gave him away and San... his big brother was messing around with the tall guy, both of them laughing in this otherwise serious situation

Seonghwa walked forward to meet the four rebels, followed by the other soldiers. One group had their badge, the other had their cross. They were very different but still seemed to have many similarities.

Seonghwa up front wordlessly took the responsibility to talk for now. He wanted to protect the other three as the oldest but it didn’t look necessary... or maybe it worked too well because blue hair, who he had only known as Joong for a while, was just staring at him and while they didn’t stand there for more than three minutes it was still an uncomfortably long silence from both sides.

Yeosang cleared his throat to bring  Hongjoong back to life, their leader had the decency to look a little embarrassed. “Thank you for accepting our invitation to meet up here. I know you are all wary of us but that’s why we’re here. I am sure you have met everyone so ask away”  Hongjoong spoke with eloquence and unexpected charisma. It was nothing like the desperation in his voice from when he first saw Seonghwa

“ So, you’re just going to let us ask you stuff? There’s no price to pay or anything? Excuse my manners but it is very suspicious” 

Hongjoong chuckled “Always a step ahead... you really care too much Hwa. You’re right, it is suspicious but the only  reassurance I can give you is that we are not carrying any weapons. You just have to take my word for it though”

Seonghwa and  Hongjoong had a bit of a staring contest for... unclear reasons... one could argue Seonghwa wanted to make Hongjoong nervous so that he would give in and maybe admit that they were planning something however, they both started smirking after a while so that definitely wasn’t it... and there was a lot of tension...

Wooyoung cleared his throat, looking at the oldest and the rebel’s leader “You done doing whatever that was? Great! How do you know the colonel’s name?”  Wooyoung was very fun to be around most of the time but just like  Yunho when it came to action and defending their people, they were more than serious.  Jongho couldn’t help but feel a bit proud

Hongjoong smiled at  Wooyoung , he looked melancholic, just like  Yeosang last night “Well that’s because Seonghwa is- or was, to be more specific, my boyfriend” None of the rebels were surprised but the soldiers were shocked beyond belief. Even Seonghwa was shocked, his face quickly turned red in a mix of anger and  embarrassment

“W-Who are you to be spreading this kind of misinformation? I have never been in a committed relationship with you!” The colonel stomped his feet on the ground and while it did sound believable it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened (See:  Wooyoung and  Yunho in the bathroom)

The rest of the rebels looked away, trying not to  laugh at the poor colonel. They definitely knew something the soldiers didn’t.

Jongho really couldn’t wait any longer to get the answers he was looking for. He couldn’t wait for those two to stop their awkward flirting for him to find out why the fuck his brother was there

“Why are you here? I know you’re dead. I saw you looking at me, just like you are right now with those soulless eyes in the flower  field”

It was obvious who he was talking to.  Jongho was staring, and even pointing to his brother

And then there was silence

The soldiers didn’t know if they should look at  Jongho or glare at san, meanwhile the rebels were looking down at the ground. Maybe they knew it was going to come up and wanted to stall the conversation but it was useless now

San sighed and took a step forward, trying to come face to face with  Jongho , even though the other soldiers were warning him with their eyes “It’s because I'm not who you think I am, Jongho”

The commander snapped, grabbing his- Whoever this impostor was by his shirt, crumpling it in his hands “Don’t fuck with me now. I know your name is also Choi San and you look  exactly like my brother. If you aren’t him then who the fuck are you?”

The soldiers didn’t want to intervene,  Wooyoung and  Yunho had only seen  Jongho this angry when  Wooyoung mentioned this guy. Meanwhile Seonghwa had never seen such a thing. The rebels looked calm but also... sad, they could see the pity in  Hongjoong’s eyes and the  embarrassment in  Mingi’s

“I am Choi San. Single child, born and raised in the country of inception. I’m sorry, I am not your brother”

Jongho could have stopped himself, but he didn’t want to. He punched the fake square in the face, making him fall onto the ground. The commander picked him from the floor by his hair, and God save him because there was no way in hell this wasn’t his brother. Everything was exactly like his brother and poor  Jongho was about to break down “I am giving you one last warning before I beat you to death. Inception isn’t a place that exists. There is treasure, wave, illusion, answer and wonderland, which is where we are right now. Don’t lie to me dammit!” And even though he wanted to come off as intimidating, it’s hard to do so when you’re about to cry

Seonghwa ,  Yunho and  Wooyoung knew better by now. There was really nothing they could do to stop  Jongho at this point, there was a reason he was the commander after all. The rebels wanted to help San (Mainly  Mingi who was ready to punch  Jongho ) but  Hongjoong stopped him. They said they weren’t going to harm the soldiers... there was never an agreement if the opposite happened. Everyone was invested in the fight and the things being said... except  Yeosang . He was just staring at  Jongho lovingly behind his leader, staring at his arms bulging, ready to punch someone to a pulp... It made  Yeosang’s mind go wild with thoughts, thought that he will keep to himself... for now...

San hissed at the pain, this really wasn’t who they knew and it was painful to see  Jongho like this “W-we’re from another reality...”  Jongho chuckled  soullessly , letting San’s hair go...

_ And kicking him with everything he had. _

Once. Twice. Three  times...

The soldiers didn’t have the guts to move  Jongho away from San. It was the first time seeing him in such a terrifying way, so lost in his own mind, so consumed with what could only be described as bloodlust.  Hongjoong couldn’t stop  Mingi anymore even if they agreed to not them he hoped Seonghwa,  Wooyoung and  Yunho could understand that they couldn’t just stand there like them.

Mingi was about half a head taller than  Jongho which in his head gave him an obvious upper hand.  _ He had been thinking about his  _ _ Jongho _ _ though _ . This ended up being useless,  Jongho was just way stronger and more trained, it did however give  Hongjoong enough time to move San away from the violence, checking his friend’s wounds. They could have been a lot worse but the leader had never wanted to see San’s skin littered with red and  purple marks, never in his wildest dream would he have thought their youngest was capable of this.  _ This wasn’t their youngest though _

The soldiers couldn’t physically harm  Jongho or they would be sent to who knows where and the rest of the rebels were trying to save san from the commander’s rage, what about  Yeosang though?

Yeosang was absolutely delighted with the way this had turned out, he was fortunately a good actor, keeping a straight face the whole time but oh boy he was not feeling straight. This  Jongho was nothing like the one they knew ( Yeosang had already figured this out long ago) but that didn’t stop the blonde from admiring him any less. Even when he noticed how disturbed  Jongho felt staring into his eyes, it didn’t change a thing for  Yeosang , he still wanted the commander more than anything in this world and maybe, just maybe, he liked this version better. This  Jongho was stronger physically but way lonelier, he couldn’t wait to make him his. Only his.

Mingi and  Jongho still hadn’t finished fighting. They were both incredible fighters but the commander had landed a few more hits. If  Mingi lost then this would truly get out of hand and so  Yeosang had to test how much of Jongho he had.

“ Jongho , that’s enough. Stop right now”

Jongho actually stopped dead in his tracks, it was more like he froze after hearing  Yeosang which unfortunately gave  Mingi the chance to land a punch but he came to his senses after that, staring down at his own hands and then at San and  Mingi . “I-I'm sorry...” He whispered, what else could he do in this situation? He just moved back and hid between the other soldiers who honestly didn’t want anything to do with him right now

Mingi walked back to San, giving  Hongjoong the space to talk to Seonghwa again. The tension was back but it was  completely different, no flirty remarks, no blushing, just... tension. “Maybe it was foolish of our part to think that you wouldn’t hurt us but I hope you can agree that it was uncalled for. I’ll do the talking for now if you don’t mind”

Before Seonghwa could agree or call them out on how stupid being from another reality is  Hongjoong pulled out an hourglass that was two thirds of the way through. The sand was white as snow (Or what they had been told snow looked like, Seonghwa had never personally seen it) and it seemed to be glowing softly “This is the amount of time we have here before going back to our reality or universe or whatever you want to call it. We don’t actually exist in this reality, we aren’t actually alive here. And we came to save you four from the white mask...”

Not even  Jongho , who was drowning in shame, could stop his gasp. Even if they were from somewhere else, trying to save them from their leader? That's ridiculous and even punishable for defamation

“...I think our talk is done. I will do you a favor and not report what you just said but go spread your  rumors somewhere else. While I applaud your ingenuity, it’s a good idea to target higher ups like me and  Jongho but our devotion runs deeper” Said Seonghwa and the rest of the soldiers had nothing else to say. Seonghwa was eloquent and expressed what everyone had been feeling with ease

“Park Seonghwa listen to me right now. I will expose your ass if that is what is needed to get you to listen”  Hongjoong growled at the group. They beat up half of them and didn’t have much time left for today so these other universe soldiers better fucking listen

Seonghwa couldn’t help but scoff, they had good blackmail knowing all their names but they were obviously lying. It was stupid to even think their white masked leader, the purest human in this country, could be planning something evil “Come on let’s go guys...”

“Seonghwa likes cooking in the shape of cute animals!”  _ What?  _ “He likes working out in underwear and sleeps wearing band T-shirts! He also likes dancing along to girl groups!”  Hongjoong started shouting some weird facts about Seonghwa that were either fake or they somehow got a camera in his private room. At first the soldiers thought he was bluffing but that was quickly  discarded when Seonghwa ran to the blue haired guy and put his hand over his mouth

“How the fuck do you know that?! Do you have a camera in my room you  creeps ?!” Asked Seonghwa in a bit of a panic. If that got out to the public then his cold image would be  completely ruined.  Hongjoong moved his hand away “No. Now listen to me. I already told you I was your boyfriend, buckle down and believe what I'm saying before I reveal even more things” What other choice did Seonghwa have? And if Seonghwa stayed then so did the other three (Even if  Yunho and  Wooyoung were trying not to laugh)

Hongjoong sighed before he kept talking “I know you don’t believe that your leader could have even a smudge of evil but listen to me. He doesn’t care about the people. He just wants to get to the door of truth and become a god” uhm... Everyone already knew that? All of the soldiers were confused as fuck and  Hongjoong had to rub his temples because damn, they were even more  indoctrinated in this universe 

“The door of truth was discovered  by? ”

“Alchemists” Answered Jongho. He had read every single book on the matter and he still couldn’t find where their leader was the bad guy

“Yes. And what’s the first law of  alchemy? ”

“The law of equivalent exchange...” How they still didn’t get it was beyond  Hongjoong but he supposes that’s what happens when you are taught to look up at  someone for so long. You just forget how to think critically

“Then how the fuck is he  gonna become a god if he has to sacrifice something just as valuable? Not to mention that just opening the thing is a taboo and looked down by god”

_ Huh... He had never thought about it that way _

Jongho had just assumed that their leader would know a way but now that it’s laid down like this in front of him, it doesn’t really make sense...

“ Well, he did open it in our universe, want to know how?”

The four soldiers looked ecstatic, so it was possible!  Oh, their life must’ve gotten so much better! Maybe they would be able to see snow? Or what about flowers?  Jongho wants to see more flowers so they don’t always remind him of San. His brother... San, not this San...

_ “He sacrificed all of you” _

A deafening silence poured through the field; all of the soldiers were in disbelief. It made sense the more they  thought about it but it was world breaking to think that the person you were willing to serve for the rest of your life wanted to actually do such a thing

“T-That’s not true! Our leader wouldn’t do that! H-he wouldn’t just kill us all off like that...” Said  Wooyoung , not even trying to hide his tears. In his heart he knew that  Hongjoong was saying the truth but he didn’t want to believe it

“Then what  Wooyoung ? How would he get to the door? How would he go about attempting the biggest taboo in all of human history, reaching the truth,  without sacrificing millions of people? The laws of equivalent exchange still apply! Not to mention it was useless!”

The broken soldiers looked up in disbelief. Their lives were sacrificed... for nothing? All of their hard work, years of training, thousands of casualties and tears spent to toughen up and be ready to fight. Everything had been useless? All of the hobbies they left behind, all the happiness in their eyes that was no longer there, all the loved ones that had  fought before them were... 

Tears rang through the four soldiers. No matter how tough you were, to know that your existence was meaningless, especially because of someone you trusted oh so much was  unbelievably painful.  Yunho kept trying to dry his tears but before he even finished there were already more falling from his eyes.  Wooyoung was just ugly sobbing, letting out all of the hurt he was feeling. Seonghwa was a bit more silent, bowing his head as he clutched his chest and his eyes shut, the only indicator of him crying were his shoulder going up and down. And  Jongho ?... He was empty, his eyes were spacing out as he cried, no noises or expressions whatsoever, just pain and pain and more pain.

“No human should ever attempt to get to the truth and after all that sacrifice, he was still punished. His  existence was erased and with it, all the knowledge he had gathered from this despicable act”

“S-stop please stop!” Begged  Yunho , looking over to  Mingi for any sign of help. He didn’t really know the man but his  instincts were telling him that was  where he should look for comfort. He found none though; the tall man was too busy tending to his friend to care about the pain in the clone of his now dead lover

_ “ _ You have to face the truth... or else you’ll end up dead. No, not even dead, your whole existence will be erased by some greedy bastard... I’m sorry we don’t have any more time”

_ Hongjoong _ _ looked at the hourglass in his hands sadly _

_ And with that, the last grain of white sand fell from one side of the glass to the other  _

_ Then the rebels disappeared _

_ The last thing  _ _ Jongho _ _ saw was  _ _ Yeosang _ _ looking at him with pity. He has to say he hates it. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, tell me what you though in the comments  
> or on my cc https://curiouscat.qa/Fooltheboo  
> or you can see me ranting on twitter @Fooltheboo


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